good night, moon
by tequilya
Summary: but, of course, she's missing the key accessory that used to make her shine like the brightest star; that doesn't matter anymore, he's gone - TeddyLilyLuna crack.


_tis me again_

 _her with and updated and revised version of one of my first fics_

 _still don't own harry potter, still have student loans_

* * *

 _zerozero_

Lily Luna Potter's knack for numbers astounded everyone.

When she was three years old, she managed to count to three, much to her father's amusement. When she was six she could count for hours, usually by counting the amount of letters in the names of people she knew.

And believe me, Lily Luna Potter knew _a lot_ of people.

For example, her daddy, Harry, had five letters in his name. Mummy had five letters also (unless you reffered to her by her proper name, Ginevra, which was seven letters; just so ya' know). James had five letters, Albus had five letters, even Teddy had five letters, but Lily only had four letters.

The fact that she was set apart from the rest of her family because a lack of an extra letter made her feel special inside.

Well, that's what Teddy would tell her. And Teddy was always right.

"Lily Luna, you rebel, only four letters to your name; we're going to have to keep a keen eye on you," He said as he tickled her belly, laughing when she would kick him for mercy.

She loved Teddy, he was her favorite person in the entire world, and he would never ever leave her standing there alone.

He was the boy with the turquoise hair and the color changing eyes, and he would never leave her; she would make sure of that.

But you know what? All good things come to an end; Lily learned that the hard way.

She knew that when Teddy started to look at Victiore in a 'more than a friend' sort of way; she was perceptive, even for an itty bitty, ginger-haired six year old.

* * *

 _zero_

Teddy and Victoire married when she was ten, the year before she would leave for Hogwarts, without a blink of an eye.

It was a lavish event, of course, with decadent decorations and a plethora of white candles surrounding the dream-like setting.

There were moving ice sculptures (she swore one winked at her), fireworks, and stars.

Family members were scattered everywhere, as were snobbish Veela relatives (Victiore's, thank Merlin).

It was so very _Victiore_ that Lily had to hold back the growing smirk fighting its way for the spotlight on her face.

Well, the candles were Teddy, but everything else was completely Vic.

The best part of the night, however, was when Teddy scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder, walking directly to the dance floor.

"May I have this dance, Lily flower?" He asked, sounding like the Prince Charming from Aunt Hermione's muggle fairytale books; the ones she made Daddy read to her every night.

"Of course, kind sir," she replied as he twirled her around on his feet, the eyes of the many onlookers in awe of the vision they were seeing.

Seven candles in a row. Sixteen swans gracefully meandering the reception area. Countless eyes on them.

Victiore was standing there next to Aunt Fleur, smiling, yet hopelessly trying to hide the mask of jealously that was shadowing her perfectly shaped features.

It was the first time Lily allowed her devilish smirk to be seen, subtly, but still there and _ohso_ completely directed at Victiore.

Vic smiled sweetly back to her as if declaring war.

But why war? What was there to be gained from a childish game?

Teddy married Victiore not Lily, never Lily, young, foolish little Lily.

 _Victiore already claimed her Prince_ , Lily thought, _she ought not to be too selfish._

* * *

 _one_

It surprises their close-knit family when little Lily Luna is sorted into Slytherin in her first year of Hogwarts.

Lily is enthralled, desperately seeking out her table when the Sorting Hat yells

 _'Slytherin'_.

Despite the shocked exteriors of her cousins and James, she knows that they will get used to the idea of another snake in the family.

They have to, Grandma Molly won't let them dwell on such a trivial conflict; and you can't argue _personality_.

Aviana Nott and Kat Parkinson immediately take to her eccentric yet sarcastic personality, as they too are first years freshly sorted.

Scorpius Malfoy winks at her from the other end of the table, poking her brother Albus on the shoulder to bring him back to Earth.

Albus was stunned that another Potter child managed to worm her way into the dungeons.

Aviana is Scorpius' cousin, and the daughter of Daphne Greengrass-Nott and Theodore Nott, as she so proudly emphasizes (as if being pureblood meant an ounce of shit anymore), but you somehow get along and it's great because you actually have a lot in common, what with random obsessions and all.

She's nice enough, quite bubbly, really; a real positive soul to be around, because that's what Lily's all about.

Surround herself with positive influences to mask the indifference and darkness that clouds her mind.

Kat's a bit different. She's sarcastic yet random, mean but nice, and calm yet dramatically crazy.

Her mother's Pansy Parkinson, she says and barely mentions anything about her father but that he's a muggle and he walked out on Pansy when she told him she was a witch; she found out she was pregnant a week later, and decided to raise her child the best way she could.

Her full name is Katerina, by the way, but by the look of rage on her face, it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest to call her by it.

 _Pity_ , it was a beautiful name. Eight letters, because she just _has_ to count it out.

Lily appreciates Kat's honesty and the two become best friends after clicking almost instantly. Take that, _mother_.

She writes to her parents during lunch, and Teddy during dinner, meticulously recording every detail of her fabulous first day of Hogwarts. Teddy was a Ravenclaw.

She receives an owl the first minute of breakfast the next day, and smiles to herself; Teddy is proud of her for making it in Slytherin, as are her mother and father.

 _They'll come around in time; they did for Al._  
 _Don't worry about the rest of them, Lily flower, it's a waste of time.  
Also, Gran sends her congratulations on being sorted into Slytherin; she told me that she always knew you would find your place, snake to snake._  
 _\- Teddy_

Andromeda always knows the right things to say. And Teddy always puts a smile on her face.

They write to each other at least five times a week, her and Teddy.

She speaks up in class, allowing her eccentric mind to infiltrate the thoughts of the other students.

The teachers love her enthusiasm, and she has an uncanny knack for Herbology.

(She has Professor Longbottom to thank for that.)

She's a good kid, maybe a detention here or there (like it could be avoided when _Kat Parkinson_ in your best friend), but other than the occasional _whoopsie_ , she does well.

Everything seems pleasant.

* * *

 _two_

It's her second year when she has her first crush, she hates to admit it, but it's Scorpius Malfoy, which is completely useless considering he and Rose have been dancing around each other for Merlin knows how long, and she's only twelve, while he's a mature _fourteen_.

And he just so happens to be Teddy's cousin, not that that should hamper any possible 'thing' between the two of them, because Teddy's married, and he and Vic are trying for their first kid (soon, I know) and, well, she's much too scatter-brained for this.

Sigh.

Rose is all gushygushy and Lily just wants to vomit on the spot, because she doesn't give a shit about Rose's feelings, honestly, and she just wants someone of her own.

Even if she's twelve, okay?

She thinks Scorp flirts with her, but sometimes it's awkward because she's his best friend's little sister, and James and Albus would skin him alive if they knew he was corrupting their innocent little sister.

Bullocks, if you ask her.

Which isn't a problem really, because Scorp is a natural flirt, and he does this all of the time.

So what's the difference if it's directed at her, and her heart flutters a bit?

It's not like she likes the attention; she's not an attention seeking whore like the rest of the hormone driven female student pool.

She has class, she's Lily Luna Potter, and she was damn well going to act like it.

Boys acted stupidly to impress her, not the other way around.

They're both reaching for the mashed potatoes (a favourite of Lily's) when Scorp 'accidentally' gets in the way and touches her hand.

"Sorry Lils, here, you take it first," he says, his stormy, grey eyes piercing her emerald ones, and it's funny because she can see Rose at the Ravenclaw table, and Rose doesn't look the least bit happy. In fact, she's practically making it snow all over the table.

Scorpius continues to flirt, Rose gets pissed, they get together, end of story.

Teddy writes to her continually, however the letters are shorter and shorter.

Nothing too exciting happens unless you count her first kiss from Lysander Scamander (it was a dare, _okay_ ).

* * *

 _three_

Third year's exactly when she chooses to leave behind the innocent act, and embrace the wildcat within.

The _real_ Lily.

She hikes her skirt up higher than the usual length, applies lip-gloss at least four times a day, and sends winks to all the boys that admire her.

And you better believe it, because there are a lot of antsy teenagers ready to have a go at little Lily Luna Potter. She's a master manipulator, regularly pulling at the strings of any boy who deigns to enter her space. Lily is _spicy_. She wouldn't put it in that particular word but it is what she heard among the congregation of Slytherins.

And she rejoices, slightly, because she's never seen Al so protective, or James glaring at every petulant kid that just so happens to be 'around' the vicinity of Lily.

She craves the attention, even at such a young age. Ironic, really, considering all the bullshit about hating attention that she spewed in second year.

Oh well, people change.

And you know what? She really doesn't care what you think of her, so everyone can go _fuck off._

* * *

 _four_

Fourth year unravels troubletroubletrouble; she cuts class, she kisses random boys, and she always _always_ does what she wants.

But that's the way the wind blows, and naturally everyone in the family thinks it's a phase. Merlin forbid precious Lily have a bad streak.

But Lily's not standing for that; this is who she is. It's not just some hormonally controlled phase that normal teenagers go through; she is who she is.

And she wants to sleep all day and party all night. Aviana doesn't understand, Kat tries to reel her in, but Lily stands her ground.

She was born into a practically royal family; she may as well act like the little socialite she was born to be.

Shiny, expensive, dazzling, and she is, naturally.

But, of course, she's missing the key accessory that used to make her shine like the brightest star. But that doesn't matter anymore, he's gone.

Oh yeah, and she fucks Adrian Zabini; what a _fabulous_ first time.

Whatever.

* * *

 _five_

Kat's disturbed, Aviana's worried, James can't look at her, Al is constantly checking on her, and Teddy, well, who the fuck is Teddy?

The man (her bestbest friend) that used to write her letters is gone, and now he's a father; wholly consumed by his family and lovelyperfectbeautiful Victiore.

 _Excuse me while I go vomit._

Lily's hitting rock bottom much too fast for a young girl of sixteen; she's practically gone.

She doused her glorious red hair with a jumbo bottle of peroxide (bottle blond, helllllo), her eyes are constantly rimmed with kohl eyeliner from random muggle convenience stores, and she's a casual drinker; bringing her flask of firewhiskey to each class (if she even manages to _make it_ to class).

Professor Longbottom's brown nosing his way into her business, Headmistress McGonagall frequently owl's the Potter's (can you believe she's still living?), and her grades have gone down the shitter.

Oh well.

Oh yeah, and her friends don't talk to her, only Kat; well fuck that, all she needs is her booze.

She tries fucking Teddy's best friend, Alex Dolohov on a warm Hogsmeade weekend. Age was never an issue and thirty one sounded marvelous.

She thinks he's taking her home.

He takes her to Andromeda.

* * *

 _six_

The first day of sixth year she falls down the stairs and lands herself in the infirmary for her inebriated ass.

Nice one, dumbass. And all she can think of is _Teddy this_ and _Teddy that_ , and really, what's the fucking point?

Teddy is gone, out on his own tending to his perfect life with his three lovely children and his trophy-wife, Victiore ( _that bitch_ ).

Meanwhile, Lily's life is just a bit below shitty on the Richter Scale.

She can't really remember what happened, except for the plethora of guys she shagged, but that's really it.

She keeps a tally marker, if you're interested.

She stays home again for the holidays. Grandma Molly was pissed, but that's to be expected when your siblings and cousins tell your aunts and uncles that you're a raging drunk and need help along with psychotherapy; well screw that.

Sorry if she's a bit bland, quite honestly she has no more fucks to give (except if you count the gnawing effect of Teddy's abandonment).

Yeah, she dwells on that fact too many times to count.

Scorpius Malfoy tried to get her help, though; she thought is was an awful joke and preceded to throw a ceramic vase at him whist in a drunken stupor.

Oops.

* * *

 _seven_

Seventh year, yeah, there's absolutely no reason why she should be here; the only N.E.W.T she managed to get into was Herbology.

Okay, so what the hell are you supposed to do with a Herbology NEWT? Become a gardener?

That's cute.

Drink, party with people who hate you, fuck desperate pigs, repeat.

There's nothing really much to explain, you know.

She misses the turquoise gleam of starlight that is Teddy, but shh, she's drunk and she's probably just rambling about shit she doesn't want anyone to hear.

Oh, and Alice was on acid, you know Alice in Wonderland? She doesn't understand why she's telling you that, but she is.

She hopes she doesn't land herself in Azkaban in the near future.

That would really suck, she thinks.

* * *

"Lily Potter, what in Merlin's name have you done to yourself?" Ginny Potter whispers in a pissed yet motherly tone that somehow scolds her but coddles her all the same; odd, really, but she doesn't give a shit about the opinions of others.

"I'm fine," she slurs, attempting to climb up the stairs, yet failing through each and every step.

There were eighteen stairs on the staircase leading to the second floor. Eighteen multiplied by two is thirty-six, which means that if you split each stair in half, there would be thirty-six steps instead of eighteen; however it would still have the same sensation as walking up the eighteen step staircase.

Fascinating.

"No, you're not fine, Lily Luna! Why the hell are you doing this to yourself!" her mother exclaims, her ginger fire showing with every word rolling off of her tongue.

"Because I can," she says, and then stumbles to the couch, passing out before seeing her mother's tears cascade down the white of her face.

Blackness surrounds the formerly beautiful girl in clouds until she falls down, down, down.

* * *

Twenty year old Lily Luna Potter finds plausible comfort in a man 14 years her senior. Alex doesn't judge. They don't talk about their families and they sure as fuck don't talk about their fathers.

After the drugs and the drinking, Lily manages. Alex takes care of her.

She thinks she loves him, just maybe.

* * *

 _Alex Dolohov is my favorite creation on the planet, more to see from him and Teddy's friendship._

 ** _Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a review!_**


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